A Beautiful Nightmare…

Everyone says that you cannot forget your first love, and for sure, a glimpse of it will always remain in your mind. Those feelings will fade away but the memory of the feelings will not.

If you are lucky enough to find it and maintain it, it can lead to a beautiful outcome, but it can also become a beautiful nightmare.

To be more precise, after six years of knowing each other, they have changed physically, but the way they looked directly in each other’s eyes hadn’t.

They met when they were 18 years old, both had such a beautiful appearance, but such naive minds. You know when people say, in order to fall in love with someone you spend some time together, get to know their character and gradually feelings develop stronger, well this wasn’t the case. As soon as their eyes met, that very first moment, that myth of love at first sight happened. He walked through that door and that pure smile on their faces, that was it, right there and then, the beginning of their love occured.

They lived in different countries, and they knew it would be really hard to keep a relationship in distance. They used to say, “as long as we live under the same sky and breathe the same air everything is possible,” but in reality it was just a couple of kids day dreaming.

The factor of distance wasn’t the only problem, it was a prohibited relationship, so they had to keep it secret from their families so you can imagine how much they missed each other and when they met once or twice a year, they had to act like friends.

Whenever she went back to visit, she had to correctly time the minutes she’d be alone so she could call him to come out and share a quick kiss under the stairs of her apartment.
Whenever they spoke on Skype, which was for hours every night, her wish looking up at the sky was for him to man up and come find her.

She wrote a diary about their love, that was the first time she ever kept a journal, he was trying to make something of himself to be accepted by her parents… none of these wishes came true.

He became bitter trying to push her away, because he knew nothing will come out. She would cry herself to sleep, because when you’re in love you don’t see the red flags, you don’t see anything because you follow your heart and not your mind.

Their daily conversations were mostly fighting about the fact that they were so far away or the fact that he didn’t trust her. He was very stubborn, as was she, but somehow they knew each other’s buttons. She fell in love so hard that she wasn’t interested in even looking at other guys and she thought he was the same, but years after, she found out that wasn’t the case.

Whenever they met each other it was like magic. Like all the bad had been forgotten and all that mattered was that touch, that eye contact, that warmth, those forever promises.

When she shared the story with me, even after all these years, she still had that spark in her eyes remembering the feeling she experienced. She said she was lucky enough to experience that true love, although she didn’t understand why some people meet each other, but are not meant to end up together.

I guess she is right. I know a lot of people at an older age that haven’t experienced that feeling and don’t know what it feels like.

That story gives you such a beautiful hope that love can happen at any time and who’s really willing to fight for it and who’s not. We don’t know, perhaps if they had tried harder, they could have overcome the obstacles. Maybe not. This is why the saying, ‘things happen for a reason’, comes in. Perhaps they still don’t know why, but I’m sure of one thing, they have learnt something from it and I’m sure that they will have a wonderful story to share one day with their grandkids.

I hope if they meet again they share a smile and a noble handshake in the name of true love.

By Kristi Bardi

Images courtesy of Pexels/freestocks.org

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