People have expectations when dating and how many times friends say, “do not, so you won’t be let down”, but it is a natural habit of us humans. Honestly, I have never heard of a funnier and more awkward story than this one I’m about to share.

These two met at a pub, your casual meet up. They knew each other for a long time but she was a popular girl, let’s just say there was a queue for her ‘availability’, and this guy wasn’t the most confident lad that ever existed in the universe, but he was funny and that’s very important when you want to win over someone. After some time she agreed to go out on a date with him.

A few jokes in, accompanied by excellent cocktails (smart choice from this dude) this guy had won his own personal lottery for the evening.

They were having a great time and as it happens a lot of times nowadays, they carried on drinking and laughing at his place. They ended up playing board games, drunkenly and some time at 2am he finally took lead and grabbed her and kissed her. She was blown away, like, “okay okay, anymore gems he’s hiding underneath his sleeves?”

One more…

They go to bed, now don’t get it twisted, there’s nothing graphic in what I’m about to say. She stated that it just didn’t work, and here I am thinking okay it was probably the alcohol. However, she said, “no no, that’s what I thought in the beginning too, but that was it, like there was no more, even if you tried to stretch it.”
Very mean, yes, but I burst out laughing and asked what happened, to which she replied, “I wanted to try, because I actually really liked this guy and sex isn’t everything for me, but dude, you know how condoms have sizes, well… the extra small fell off.”

Big pause because I started laughing again. What a terrible experience!
Bless him and her in two different ways.

They carried on but it was bad, like very, she a thin woman and her fingers are bigger than a pen!
He was over the moon and she didn’t want to break down his dreams and smiled and fell asleep. Asleep, tried to at least, because she didn’t want to be rude and leave.

How awkward can a situation like that be? It’s like you know when guys show off in front of a mirror thinking they got the greatest bodies but in reality its not exactly like that, I guess that was the case, but not his muscles.

Anyway, the point is that the expectations were high and in the end the outcome was not satisfactory. It sounds bad but, its reality. Chemistry is key, but chemistry in all areas.
For someone else it might not be a problem, but you can’t just settle because he’s a nice guy. The garbage man around the corner might be nice too, that doesn’t mean that you’ll be attracted. What I’m trying to say is that they’ve got to have the package that you are looking for and not just because they have 1 out of the 10 things that you’re searching for, in any case that might be their size, their job, their attitude etc! Women are not mean, they are picky, and trust me, 85% of my friends are boys, and they give great advice, and damn they are pickier, they just don’t express it as much so it seems like they are “cooler”.

She turned around sharing an awkward story for her, while he probably has turned around saying, “yeah dude it happened”. Perspectives and points of view my friend.

By Kristi Bardi

Images provided by Pexels


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